Infamy!

Notice to all participants & non-committal types:

Controversy has once again tarnished our fair event. And this one could potentially be worse than the Paki-Austrian debacle of 1999.

I'm sure you've heard the rumors: A rival competition, starring one of our very own, is competing with the DRD 2008 for participants. They call themselves the DLP [Distance Legends Program] . It sounds innocuous I know but when I looked into this "program" a little more closely I realized what type of a punk-*** little outfit they really are.
I have copied correspondence regarding this wanna-be organization and their pathetic aspirations, which rumor has it, include the following:

• replacing the DRD as the ultimate decathlon for distance runners
  
• allowing all manner of controlled & banned substances
  
• ridding Europe of all Jewry & gypsy-ry
• denouncing the basic tenets of Christianity
• installing a one-world government with Amy Winehouse as president
• no complimentary breakfast at the Wingate Hotel

Due to uhh....journalistic uhhhh...errrr ethics, I cannot divulge where most of these bullet points came from, but I am as sure that these things are true as I am that John McCain had a love child with a Cuban lobbyist & accepted money from the Soviets in '88 for his Senatorial campaign.

This is cult-ish I'm telling you. Whatever you hear or see or read, don't buy into it. The DRD is the preeminent event for Distance Runners. It has been for a decade now & will continue to be that for decades to come!

Correspondence:

2008/2/27 John Khan <zjkhan@yahoo.com>:

...As for Josh Zealand...I have spotted this young man in recent weeks. I was perusing the Liberty University pages to see if I could purchase any Doug Oldham CD's, but couldn't find anything with the beat I was looking to drop. Back to JZ though...his picture was mysteriously posted on one of those scrolling pics when you log onto the homepage. Something about LU DLP program and some achievement. Either the DLP program is using old file footage or JZ is still around somewhere.

From: Joseph DiCarlo [mailto:jadicarlo@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 28, 2008 9:08 AM

John,

What's this DLP thing that JZ is involved with?

Is it a rival competition to the DRD?

Let me know.

I didn't know that the DRD 2008 was competing with another competition.

Maybe we're gonna have to sweeten the deal to get people to come....

Will they have a huge-awesome 11th Event / Awards Ceremony at Fazoli's ? 'Cause our's will! You know that right?

Do you know if they are getting rooms at the Wingate Hotel so their competitors will have access to the hot-tub? You know the DRD 2008 is gonna have a hot-tub. And that's not even to mention the complitmentary breakfast & exercise room....will they have complimentary breakfast??

Look, If anyone asks tell them that the soccer girl's will be there...

Let me know what you know...

Joey

2008/2/27 John Khan <zjkhan@yahoo.com>:

...Back to Joey though...I think there may be a rogue agency trying to undermine your historical DRD. (If anyone happend to get this LU magazine this week with basketball stuff on the cover...take a glance in there and you can see Josh Zealand with his training teammate.) There may be illegal donations that he's receiving for training with his DLP team, but I'm unable to confirm this (although as a follow up to yesterday's email, once I can get his SS# I could tell you how many donations he received in 2007.) [then again, with the military background Don Hicks has, he's already tracking every word each of us has already written in the emails, so he may be the one to contact for all that info, and when the last time Bruce Kite ordered a pizza on his cell phone].

Call me crazy, but there may be some extensive training taking place by Josh. The Distance Legends Program...these guys know how to bring it and they've got home field advantage cause they can learn all the intricacies of how to approach each event. This is a society of athletes that grooms young men and sometimes women into becoming champions in their respective field. I mean the only way I can get a leg up on this training is by adding an event to see who can get up on the roof of dorm 22 the fastest (here's a hint, there's a roof access point in the bathroom, and a pair of Ballard's boxers in the closet.)

Joey, there you have it...the latest info about the rogue agency, and if I learn of anything else, I'll send you the schematics to your PDA.

Johnny K -- the most dominant DRD performer of the 20th century

PS --> You're telling me there's gonna be soccer girls there? Hmm...add in a couple of southern belle's with blond hair and you know Ballard and I are showing up for sure. Also, do you know if the coffee machine got fixed at the Wingate?

Any updated information that we have regarding these "ace & garys" will be posted right here.