Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Controlled & Banned

Notice to All Competitors:

There has been a great deal of speculation as to how the BALCO scandal will influence our event.

In an effort to clear up any ambiguities left by the 21 USC, Chapter 13 code of US Federal Regulations, the DRD 2008 Drug Prevention Committe has issued the following helpful guide to assist you in staying qualified for competition:

Controlled & Banned in 2008
  • Little Debbie [Triple Fudge Brownies ONLY - the Double are still legal]
  • Nutella
  • Kinder Chokolat
  • Mango Lassie
  • Banana-Berry Freeze & French Onion Cocktail
  • Clearly Canadian [all flavors & varieties]
  • Rally's Burgers with Pickles. Without pickles is fine, but watch the ketchup...
  • Meat RX
  • Fresh-Chixs
  • Swedish Fish
  • Lagerfeld Cologne
  • Ben & Jerry's - Chunky Monkey & New York Super Fudge Chunk ONLY
  • Gatorade [Kenyan National Aeronautics & Space Administration Issued Only]
  • Ice Cream Bars that pre-date 1999

This list is abbreviated for time's sake and should not be considered complete.
If you have a question as to the legality of a substance that you are currently using or intend to use contact the DRD substance hotline at 443.366.2916.

Testing will be random, violent, fierce, & may entail other participants seeing your private bits.
Consider yourself warned!

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